I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
