Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
