i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
