it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
