Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
