Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
