My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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