You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
