i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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