K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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