Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
