he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
