Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
