hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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