I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize
