you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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