After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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