apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
