jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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