Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
You dont lie about slip and slides
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I need water and some morals
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
