people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
