Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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