Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
