Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
