He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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