I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
