Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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