Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
