I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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