I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
God, I missed his penis.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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