it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
