Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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