is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
