Whod you bang
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
