They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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