My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I just sucked dick on a ferry
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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