3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
