New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
