Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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