is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
