In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Randomize
