My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Do vagina's smell?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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