Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
