Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
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