I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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