Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
