What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Randomize
