He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Congratulations! We have a period
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
