Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
