Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
