Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Randomize
