let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
