i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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