i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize