Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
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