I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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