I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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