i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
