dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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