help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I am mentally ready for anal.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
