Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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