why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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