don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
